Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Pushing the IGNORE button

Isang gabi sa Facebook chat:

Me: I see you're happily married again. Congrats! [Why did you break up with him in the first place? It was an ABSURD move.]

Ex: 7 months! Thanks btw for, hmmm, helping, in some way.

Me: I know it wasnt easy but there you are.

Ex: Yeah you knew (sic) it wasn't easy. Well...basta, thanks

Me: Oh well nice to have helped .

Ex: Eh musta na pagtrial and error mo? hehe [Referring to a brief phase where I allowed myself to flirt with a couple of guys in hopes of finding THE one]

Me: I stopped already. busy na eh!

Ex: Hahaha naka-ilan ka na rin naman eh

Me: Not a lot actually

Ex: madami. :))

Me:uhm. not really.

Ex: i just uploaded our pictures of last night

Me: on me flirting, let's not go there. magaaway lang tayo.

Ex: Di ko gets. Your telling that to me? i mean, baka magaway tayo? bakit tayo magaaway?


Lately, I've discovered that ignoring a person and avoiding confrontation can be a lot better than facing it head on.

Take for instance this annoying blockmate of mine who, as I was reading a paper on effectively studying the law, crassly asked me, "Hoy [insert my surname here], ano na naman 'yang binabasa mo? Wala pang pinapabasa satin, basa ka nang basa. HOY!" He kept on doing this for as long as his attention span let him. At that moment, I wanted to look him straight in his fugly face and tell him to fuck off, mind his own business, and learn to have some manners.

But of course I didn't. Instead, in spite of his repeated remarks, I silently ignored him as if the big elephant, pun intended, is not in the room. Ayun, natahimik.

Just like the conversation above, I chose to ignore rather than confront the ex head on. First of all, it's none of his business whether or not I choose to flirt. Second, he's not exactly the authority in not flirting. God knows how much of a flirt he is and how fast he swaps boyfriends as if he's just changing his underwear. Kaya please lang, don't he lecture me on what to do with my (love) life when I'm much, much more restrained with mine than he is. He managed to have at least three boyfriends after we broke up, whereas I only had one. Not that I'm counting...but!

At the very least, I don't "cool off" with a boyfriend and flirt during the in-between period. And for the record, I didn't even flirt with that many guys, so I suggest he straighten his figures before telling me what to do.

He's been doing this for days, telling me to stop the "trial and error" phase. Through and through, I've always wanted to tell him: who the fuck are you? Nakakainis talaga ang mga taong pinipilit ang perspective nila when they don't even understand yours. I want to make them realize they're flat out wrong...but I ignore.

So why do I do it? Why do I push the ignore button?

It's not for the sake of avoiding confrontation itself. It's just that some confrontations can drag on and on that some wounds will inevitably be uncovered. Before you know it, you won't even know where the entire disagreement all started.

Also, I honestly don't think confrontations can be worth it, especially since they require so much emotional and mental effort, i.e., finding the right words, crafting the right approach, etc. They're the last bullet, to be fired only when the ex or the annoying classmate is far across the line. Until then, I opt to just push the ignore button.

And yeah, I can really be a moody person. Hindi naman halata no? :P


  1. yup blockmates are really blockmates...

  2. Okay lang sana if we're in college, but we're already post graduates! Pero syempre, ignore ignore ignore. Haha.

  3. sometimes we ignore someone because we just had enough. :)

    and yeah you're moody. haha. just kidding :P

  4. A good strategy is to pretend that you have not heard anything. Most of the time, people would not want to repeat themselves, especially if they know they're being willfully ignored. Hehe.

  5. MSC, yeah. And after one sem of his unbearable attitude, I have definitely had enough of him.

    Victor, that's exactly what I do. Although I don't even care to ask him what he just said so he wouldn't have to repeat himself. As in totally ignore lang! Hehe.