But to be honest, law practice is shaping to be more difficult in some ways.
In the span of eight months I have managed to:
• Bail out my boyfriend's best friend out of jail--but only after being substantially jaded by our justice system and by shady cops who'd frame innocent people up to extort money from them (I'm looking at you, police officers from Galas QC Police Station--I still have all your names and have crystal clear memory of what you did btw);
• Draft a response to a notice to explain (before termination) by an employer--for a cousin, in a record time of 2 hours, after going home at 12mn and after almost dying of sheer exhaustion;
• Come up with a viable defense for what seems to be a clear violation of a non-compete clause -- from an anonymous number that turned out to be from my close friend.
And these are just the cases I don't even get paid for, outside my occasional killer work hours. So yes, law practice is more difficult, because this is how I realized that cases I only used to read about and regurgitate in school affect real lives, and in emotionally painful ways that I can only imagine.
I have to admit: it's hard to stand from a distance, separate myself from the emotions running wild, and see everything with a clear vision of what should be done, legally.
I've always been the type to bottle my emotions in, but that doesn't make me any less emotionally vulnerable--just more capable of calibrating my emotions from the outside.
But now I understand. It's my job, more than anything, to not let my emotions cloud my judgment. And to let it only get in the way if it moves me nearer towards the end goal.
Why do I have to help outside work when I'm not getting paid for this shit? Why do I have to expend my emotions and time and effort on this, all three invaluable currencies for a lawyer?
And then I remember: these are little things, yes. But I suppose, it is in these little things that the law breathes life, and affects people. So maybe I do get invested, without any real ROI in the long run.
But maybe that's how I learn what justice really means?