Monday, July 15, 2013

Twenty-three isn't as fun as seventeen

I’m not as young as before. I’m twenty-three. While some will argue that it’s still a fairly young age and I have a whole life ahead of me, it’s still not seventeen. And it’s funny, because at twenty-three, and months away from my law degree, I have never been so clueless. What’s even funnier is that I had an inkling of what to do when I was seventeen: I was going to law school. I was in a relationship then, and, even if I wasn’t, I could detect a spark when I felt it.

Roughly four years after college, I can’t help but feel like life is thrusting me into this whole new dimension I’m not sure I’m prepared for. I’ve always known that I’m a relationship person, and I’m at my best when I’m in one (except for the last few weeks when I knew a relationship was going nowhere, and I would decide to botch it up altogether)…but, frankly, I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve always known that I’m fairly responsible and hardworking, but why am I not working so hard anymore?

I guess my recent and longest relationship changed certain perspectives. I may not have fully recovered in terms of trusting myself and moving forward alone, but I should. Time is running, the bar review is just around the corner, and I have bigger battles to conquer than the ones inside my head.