Too Horny to Function?

Brilliant, Arwind. Brilliant. You've simply outdone yourself.

One minute you talk about love, and the next you go jumping right into another man's dick. On the way home you begin to understand yourself. And why you did it.

It's not because you're too horny to function. Not because you've always liked him since PE class...in your underfuckinggraduate days. Not even because he's another notch in your goddamn bedpost.

It's because you're fucked up. You think you're so smart? Well, then, why did it take you long enough to realize that everything for you is a chase? Everything is about making another person fall for you, about the same time you *think* you fall for him.

And for what?

To make you feel good about yourself. It's where you get your motherfucking self-esteem. The idea that you're so desirable and sought after? You have this sad notion that you can only get it by making other people fall in love with you. People you find attractive. People other people like. People who have too much, even too little, love to give.

And when it's all done...once your little game is complete, you finally make your great escape. Actually, no. Escaping isn't enough; you just have to hurt the other so badly he's probably wounded beyond comprehension. At that point you realize that you didn't get the affirmation you wanted after all. And once again you're on prowl for your next prey. All for the feel-good sensation that only lasts for a fleeting moment. You're on drugs, except that you've never actually tried drugs.

There is no escape. It is an endless cycle of wanting love, getting it, and being too fucked up to stare at it straight in the face.

So. You don't know love. You don't have any business with love. You don't get to say love.