This is the thing I do. I like someone so much and fall head over heels for the first two weeks or so. Then I start slapping myself silly, with a reminder that I have to snap out of whatever silly frenzy I am in.
I'm trying to fight it this time. So badly. I need to know that I can start something like this and commit to it. And that I won't bail out whenever he's late for thirty minutes and I won't give him the cold shoulder for hours. That I will stay even if it gets too overbearing for my own good sometimes. I need to know that I'm capable of loving this amazing guy.
I'm officially on Christmas break. I have no clear vision of what I'll be doing for two weeks, which seem like an eternity for someone who always has his hands full. Back in college, I always had a job or a tournament to preoccupy myself on breaks like this. Not since law school, where I've committed these breaks to a long and dreary period of nothingness. At least until I finally get a job and attend evening law classes.
My frequent pessimism aside, I actually like Christmas. No, I love Christmas! To date, I have completed all five dawn masses... four more and I'm bound to complete another set. Why am I doing this? It's not so much about the wish as it is about the feeling of actually committing myself to something and finishing it. Obviously, I have troubling commitment issues. But yeah, it's probably about the "wish"...
So what do I want for Christmas?
I've received, so far:
Fancy binder clips
Ugh. Who am I kidding? All these came from one person, my best friend, who also had the generosity to give me a weird polo one size smaller than me. The polo is weird because it is adorned by little red flowers and vines. And it is one size smaller because, well, I've become fat.
I'd have you know that these are also the best three gifts I received. I also got the following from our block kris kringle: a bunch of trolls for cute and fluffy, a chocolate-container for long and hard, a box of condoms for wild and sexy, and an undated planner for the final gift. They also came from a blockmate I'm beginning to dislike. There's no real reason why I dislike her, except that she always has her eyebrows furrowed, with an annoying comment about anything and anyone. It came to a point where I deliberately changed the topic to something she totally won't be able to relate to, just so she would shut up. Sue me.
Oh wait! My sister made me pick something she'd pay for. I chose a jock jacket...and a very warm and fuzzy one at that. The fact that I like it so much means that people should probably just give me money to buy gifts for myself.
So now to the real deal. What do I really want this Christmas?
I know this will fall on deaf ears since nobody here actually knows me, but I'm going to go ahead and post Arwind's Practical Wishlist:
I hate when I run out of these whenever I'm in QC. What I hate more? Being compelled to wash my underwear because I won't have any to wear on Friday next.
This is something I really need...and probably won't get. I want a small and compact one, because I learned from my mistakes, ie getting the humongous Starbucks planner last year. That planner and I... it just didn't work.
And no, I don't mean the fancy pillows meant to be given as gifts. I want a pillow in the basic sense of the object. A PILLOW! Why won't anyone give me a decent pillow? :(
Because I watched the movie twice in the theater and loved it. I actually cried to it, and found the lead in his alien form...hot.
These are glass coasters, if you didn't know. I need and want them so I know I can place my glasses wherever I want to without fear of getting water marks on wherever I place them. Yes, fear. The real and foreboding kind.
I love fantasy books! After reading the first one of the series earlier this year, I am finally ready to read the next one. What I lack is the actual book. Hehe.
So you see, these are fairly inexpensive gifts that for some reason nobody got for me. It makes me sad, but then I remember how I gave out nothing either. So there. A christmas wishlist. First time I made something like this in my lifetime.