I look at the leftover Tic Tac mints you probably forgot or left on purpose. I open my ref and see the half-eaten chocolate cake you gave me. I lie on the bed thinking of how, just the night before, we were holding hands and swearing our love for each other on the very same bed.
Honestly? Learning all the complicated concepts in law school is nowhere near as difficult as dealing with this is. The former takes a considerable amount of time and effort, but the latter? It's like being stabbed right through the heart, but I know the pain is well worth it.
This is worth it, because every now and then I get to sleep and see you in my dreams--and sometimes they can be so surreal that it's more than enough to get me through the day. And on every rare occasion, I get to hear your laugh, your voice, and your genuine words. I get to kiss you in the most random moments and talk about everything...or just be quiet and watch you as you sleep. I can switch from my melodramatic to my insane self without inhibition. I know I'm lucky because I have found someone I can talk to about anything. Anything.
I mean, for someone who shuts down one's self to an awful lot of people, I'm lucky to have found someone I can easily open up to--for the simple reason that this person listens and has valid insights. For the simple reason that this is the person I love, and I want him to have and share everything of me without holding back. I'm probably not the most handsome, nor the brightest guy out there. But I surmise, and i have reasonable belief to conclude that this is true, that this is the best of who I am.
Just the idea of how perfect you are for me boggles me. The way you love and respect your family. Your talent and the humility that goes along with it. The humor. Allow me to say it's everything I wished for but never thought would come. Now that you're here, I'm just happy that we happened.
That being said, I can easily say:
1) The pain, really, is a negligible trade-off to the overwhelming and leaping feeling of happiness I'll be brave enough to say I've never experienced before;
2) Call me cheesy, but I don't think I'll ever get tired of talking about this love. I mean, when you found someone who fits perfectly out of the millions of people out there, what else is there to do?
The official list of passers for my college was just released. Man... that's almost one full year since I found out that I passed. What has happened to me since then?
Let me see... I graduated from college with sufficient honors. I fell in love. I got into law school. Terrorized more times than I can keep track and at one point literally couldn't sleep because of fear of the next class. I fell out of love. I got through the sem pretty well.
And...here I am in pretty good shape. Merely months ago I thought that I'd quit law school and that God was evil. But. I guess He really does have his ways beyond the limits of human reason. Really, sometimes I myself don't understand what the hell I'm staying here for, but I'm sure he wouldn't have let me passed without good reason. So I guess I move forward.
Hubert Webb was invited to an interview earlier today. I won't pass judgment on whether or not I think he's guilty, but there are quite a few pointers of his that I don't agree with.
First, he talked about how taking drugs is at par with heavy drinking, or casual drinking for that matter. He went on about how it shouldn't be punished, just as disobeying your parents shouldn't be. I mean, really?
Second, he commented on how lawyer's fees can get exorbitantly high. He said something to the effect of, "there's something wrong there." He had a choice, and he chose to hire the expensive lawyers. For all I know, he should've been thankful that the lawyers who worked on his case were able to help in acquitting him.
Next he talked about the fact that he's suing Alfaro for the false testimony and accounts she gave not because he wanted vindication but because the "next Jessica Alfaro" is around the corner. According to him, he was part of a conspiracy to smokescreen the prominent issues at that time and that Jessica Alfaro was paid to give a false testimony. Granted that all these are true, I thought his "noble objective" of teaching false and paid witnesses a lesson is pretty farfetched from suing Jessica Alfaro alone. Really, how would Jessica Alfaro's conviction deter other paid witnesses from giving false accounts? So please. Spare me the "I'm doing it for you" bullshit.
But what really took the cake was how he kept equating being rational to believing his side. But really, when it came right down to it, I didn't think he gave anything substantial to make me believe for or against his guilt. So how was the interview? Granted the interview questions and inappropriately informal setting for such a sensitive issue, I think it was pretty tacky and poorly handled.