Saturday, December 3, 2011

My life is boring

I wasn't surprised when somebody else said it out loud.

My life is boring. I wake up, I go to the library (and sometimes, for good measure, grab a quick breakfast in a convenience store or wherever), attend class, study right after, go to a coffee shop near my place to study, then go home to my empty apartment. I no longer log in to Facebook as often as I used to--which means that I practically dissolved the last strand of my sorry social life. Just yesterday, I forgot my cellphone and didn't even bother worrying if anybody was looking for me; in fact I was quite happy, because not having it with me meant that I didn't have to talk with someone who's been annoying me for quite a while.

When I got home to check my phone, I had a few messages, one of which was from a guy I used to date asking me out for dinner. Her friend texted me too, asking me to come out with the guy. I deleted the messages and went on with my life.

I'm not exactly miserable. But I must admit, I do get sad every now and then, if only for the sheer lack of people to talk to about life, the music that I like, the movies that I love, and everything else in between. If only for the lack of something to look forward to, except a recitation or an exam. 

I've always taken a sense of curiosity with the fact that some gay men seem to have much more colorful love lives than I do. I'm surely not that abominable. Why hasn't anyone been asking me out?! No sooner than I ask this question do I realize the reason why: I don't socialize; I stay at home on Friday and Saturday nights; I watch movies alone; and, the game of flirting has become a tired exercise for me. 

This is not a call for help. This isn't even a call for friends to come over. This is simply an admission that I need something else in my life aside from my law books and my pride. So maybe I should do something new, try to make a few changes in my life. But how do I do that without losing the essence of who I am in the process?




5 comments:

  1. ditto.

    we are robots once in awhile.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do something crazy once in a while to break the monotony of things.

    That's what I do to amuse myself and make my life a tad bit more interesting. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. reconnect with your upm friends ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  4. Reading this is like reading my life. We have exactly the same dilemmas. Some friends even think I'm antisocial. To cope up with this, I usually see them every now and then (once a week is enough). Or go partying on rare occasions (once in 3 months?).

    ReplyDelete