Why I Need to Write Again

I've made a promise to write more often to myself (and to my non-existent readers) for the millionth time, and have embarassingly managed to break that same promise every time.

So. You know what? I'm not even going to promise anymore.

What I can say is that I have gone through the reasons in my head. And I'm convinced writing is the only way to keep me sane.

In a virtual world where everyone wants to self-identify with their "invaluable" opinions, posting selfies (and getting as many affirmations through their networks) is a virtual currency, and showing off one's latest buys is the highlight of the day, there's value (at least for me) to be writing raw stuff in anonymity, without being paid for it, with the remote chance of anyone reading it. And just for the heck of it.

I am not quite sure what to call this feeling--social media exhaustion? Isolatedness? Antisocial tendencies? Not giving a fuck if you've just gotten yourself a new car (or, worse, a new opinion)?

Well, whatever it is, I've had enough. I've had enough of people talking about #AlDub or #MyPastillasGirl, and people fighting over which one is better, and people calling its fans dumb, and people defending other people's choices for liking either against so-called elitists, and just in general making a big fuss out of everything. I mean, really, do we have to do this? Do we really have to overthink and defend what we do for entertainment every time?

Why do we have to take every trend in whatever form, and run it to the ground?  I don't even think people are through, because there is apparently a lot that is still left to be said.

Don't get me wrong; what I mentioned aren't the only things people have somehow turned into a viral phenomenon. And it's not looking to be the last.

I am probably to blame--whether through the choice of friends I keep on Facebook or by consuming every person's opinion/rant mindlessly--but here I am, an unwilling victim of every angle and imaginable opinion of every viral issue on local cyberspace. I didn't even realize it, until all the weight of the negativity and aggression people have literally made me feel heavy and, quite honestly, I just can't put up with it anymore.

So I write. I write, because I've been consuming the negativity and aggression for too long, and I need to finally spit it all out. God knows I need a place to throw my brand of negativity away, and, unlike other people, I just can't do it on Facebook. Cause, you know, my mom is my Facebook friend.

Finally

It's been a while since I've written here, and the feeling is strange--almost like trying to rekindle a friendship once lost.

I guess I know how to lose friendships all too well. There's really nothing to it. You just start slipping away from a person that used to be a huge part of your life, and you don't even try to fight it. But this is not one of those lost friendships. It shouldn't be.

This blog, few though its law-related posts may be, has gotten me through some really tough times.

I envisioned it to be a place where I can chronicle my thoughts as I went through law school. Instead it became a storage for my sentimentalities :P

And yet, here I am. To the goal that seemed illusory a few years ago: I am finally a lawyer.

The Waiting Begins...

After several attempts at signing into my own Blogger account, I'm finally, successfully here.

I feel like I owe at least an explanation of what really happened to me, so here's a preview:

• I've graduated from law school.
• I went through six months of bar review HELL...
• and finished all four Sundays of the bar exams!
• I'm about to celebrate my first year anniversary with my partner!

It feels wrong to sum everything up in four points, since the sheer effort and dedication that went into what can be simplified into just four sentences were, for lack of a better word, CRAZY. My emotions have gone up and down, I went through several episodes of insanity, and I discovered a whole new dimension of me that I didn't know was there. Apparently I could be crazier--and stronger--that I thought. But that's another set of stories best memorialized in my head.

I'm here, I suppose, because I need some sort of closure, some place I can go back to. I'm not the type that takes photos, so I don't have any way of visually remembering the "highlights" of my life. And as proven in this blog, neither am I the type that religiously journals my day-to-day life.

But for all my failures to make this blog what I promised it to be, this blog is what it is (a raw and poor documentation of what the fuck happened throughout law school), and I'm happy satisfied with what I did.