I found a date during my one-month stay in Melbourne. Dating him has been great, and melodramatic, I suppose. We both know it can't and won't work out after this.
But this brief episode is teaching me a lot of things. See, back in Manila, I would date a handful of guys half-heartedly. There was no booming chemistry, and something in me knew those dates were doomed to fail. I did them anyway. Maybe cos I thought it might work? Maybe cos I did not want to feel unattached?
I now realize what a waste of time that was. The guy I'm dating here has made me realize, brief though our stint may be, that I could do better. I should.
It's so easy to settle when you're kinda in a hurry to be in a relationship, because it terrifies me to be alone. Because who I am is a relationship person. Because I feel the need to share myself with someone. I now realize what a fool I've been.
So, yeah. Maybe I am a relationship person. Maybe that's what will truly and genuinely make me completely happy. And I will not have that, not anytime near. What I will have: long hours at work; Saturdays spent in school, teaching; relationships with new (and old) friends that I'm willing to invest in.
And you know what? That's okay. In fact, that's more than okay. And that's what makes my holidays pretty awesome. How about yours?
