I’m
not as young as before. I’m twenty-three. While some will argue that it’s still
a fairly young age and I have a whole life ahead of me, it’s still not
seventeen. And it’s funny, because at twenty-three, and months away from my law
degree, I have never been so clueless. What’s even funnier is that I had an
inkling of what to do when I was seventeen: I was going to law school. I was in
a relationship then, and, even if I wasn’t, I could detect a spark when I felt
it.
Roughly
four years after college, I can’t help but feel like life is thrusting me into this
whole new dimension I’m not sure I’m prepared for. I’ve always known that I’m a
relationship person, and I’m at my best when I’m in one (except for the last
few weeks when I knew a relationship was going nowhere, and I would decide to botch
it up altogether)…but, frankly, I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve always known that
I’m fairly responsible and hardworking, but why am I not working so hard
anymore?
I
guess my recent and longest relationship changed certain perspectives. I may
not have fully recovered in terms of trusting myself and moving forward alone,
but I should. Time is running, the bar review is just around the corner, and I
have bigger battles to conquer than the ones inside my head.
