Everyone But Me

Last night, I had myself enrolled for the second semester. Because I'm such an adult, I brought along my mom. I insisted on her not coming, but she would go on with her speech about how it hurts to be pushed away and how I used to be such an adorable kid, etc. The point is: enrollment. POST graduate degree. mother. with his 20-year old son.

So after enrolling and getting some of my grades (so far, so good..), my mom told me she'd take me anywhere I wanted. While having dinner, I told her about one weird thing about me. And it's not about me not being straight.

Needless to say, she was happy to know that I've neither been drunk nor tried to smoke a cigarette. Now when it was my turn to ask her if she's ever tried to smoke, she went a bit too far and talked about the parties she used to have, and how she tried smoking every once and a while and... I WAS SO FREAKED OUT.

Apparently, almost everyone has tried it but me. I don't know why, but smoking feels so wrong that trying it doesn't ever cross my mind. In fact, an ideal boyfriend would be, foremost, someone who doesn't smoke.

While having a shower immediately before writing this post, I was thinking about how I shortchanged myself by compromising the qualities I'm looking for in a potential partner. It's like I'm always in a rush to find the best one I'm possibly going to spend the rest of my life with.

Now that I'm single, I can't help but realize how I've thrown myself in relationships I wasn't prepared for, making promises I couldn't keep. I was wrong. So from now on, no rushing into relationships--or no relationships at all, even.

The inevitable conclusion of this sembreak? Everyone's into smoking and relationships but me. Sue me.